Ralph to Leave Throne

April 10th, 2006

King Ralph

Pinch me! Alberta’s conservative premier and super kook extraordinaire, Ralph Klein, has announced that he’ll abdicate his throne after receiving only 55% support in last week’s party leadership review. If this amazing bit of luck hadn’t happened so early in this site’s lifetime, Ralphy would have been a shoe-in as a regular on this site.

Now how can I even begin describing ol’ King Ralph? Since using the obscure notwithstanding clause in 2000 to make an otherwise unconstitutional ban on same-sex marriage legal in Alberta until 2005, Ralph Klein has:

  • Pulled up to a homeless shelter after midnight, drunk beyond all get-out, and yelled at the homeless for not having jobs
  • Threw a Liberal policy book at a 17-year old page in the Alberta legislature, but arrested and jailed a youth for throwing a pie at him
  • Spearheaded the effort to bring in a national referendum on same-sex marriage
  • Threatened to disallow marriage altogether in Alberta if same-sex marriage became federal law (it did; he didn’t)
  • Said he’ll introduce legislation making it legal for civil marriage commissioners to deny filing paperwork for same-sex couples
  • Justified all of this nonsense by stating “I have friends who are gays and friends who are lesbian and they’re wonderful people.” (Let’s not hold our breath waiting for me to say I have a friend who’s a wonderful premier…)

Ralph Justifies

Oh, Ralph! I’m so sorry to see you go. You’d have been my most favourite regular ever!