Ted Morton: The Distractor!

October 2nd, 2006

A Horrible Ogre

Ted Morton—who seems to be recovering quite nicely from his anti-gay bill‘s delightfully brutal slaying—has now set his sights country-wide, urging MPs to ban same-sex marriage. At a press conference last Thursday, Morton announced that “the evidence is absolutely overwhelming that same-sex marriage is not a basic human right.”

Morton then provided all press attendees with a list of peer-reviewed studies backing up his claim, putting the issue to rest once and for all.

Nah, I’m totally kidding! He couldn’t provide jack squat.

Instead, Morton, surrounded by religious group representatives, re-iterated the same ostensible “protect the children” demagoguery. But, you know, that’s just as good as real scientific studies. Well, in Alberta.

Now, for the sake of our children’s future, could someone, uh, please repair the broken motorized sidewalk at Beaudry Métro station? It’s been idle for, like, two months. Thanks.