Gays Warned Not To Sway Hips As They Walk

March 23rd, 2007

How to Walk Heterosexually

The Philippine National Police has issued a warning instructing its gay officers to refrain from swaying their hips as they walk. Failure to do so will result in their termination.

Chief Superintendent Samuel Pagdilao said that while the force does not discriminate against gay officers in any way, they will fire anyone who “misbehaves:”

As an institution, the PNP does not look at or interfere with one’s sexual preference, but it does look at its members’ conduct.

If they sway their hips while marching, or if they engage in lustful conduct, I think that will be a ground for separation.

I’m not entirely sure how my stride appears to onlookers, but if turns out to be career-threateningly gay, I suppose I’ll need the number of a good physical therapist. Preferably someone cute.

Well, until Monday folks!