Anti-Gay Pastor Threatens To Take Over Microsoft

November 30th, 2007

Microsoft Judgement

Ken Hutcherson, pastor of an evangelical megachurch and a former NFL linebacker, has resolved to take over Microsoft. A sisyphian task with even the soundest motivations! What rationale could be behind this decision?

Here’s what the pastor had to say:

There are 256 Fortune 500 companies alone pouring millions upon millions of dollars into pushing the homosexual agenda.

Microsoft stepped out of their four walls into my world so that gives me the right to step out of my world into their world. They tried to turn their policy into state policy, making their policy something I had to submit to. And my playbook [the bible] tells me you don’t submit to sin.

Microsoft, like many companies, has a diversity policy to protect their gay and lesbian employees. This includes an internal organization, the Gay and Lesbian Employees At Microsoft (GLEAM), as well as support of state legislation protecting employees from harassment and discrimination.

This has infuriated Ken, who used his single share in the company to crash a shareholder’s meeting and warn the company of a “firestorm like you have never seen,” adding that he was their “worst nightmare.”

Reportedly, CEO Steve Ballmer will counteract this dire threat by buying the United States of America and amending its corporate laws to forbid crazy pastors from buying shares and disturbing meetings.