Peruvian Mayor Worried Over Gay Water Supply

November 28th, 2011

A scientist inspects a sample of water: "325 ppm of gay... well beyond acceptable limits."

If you’re gay and ever wondered why you’re not straight, perhaps you’ve just been drinking too much Peruvian tap water.

José Benítez—the mayor of Huarmey, a small town located in the Ancash region of Peru—is convinced his town’s water supply is causing heterosexual men to turn gay. The bizarre comments, which were uttered at the launch of a project designed to improve water distribution, seem to have stemmed from an television report back in 2000. The report famously claimed that the 14,000 residents of the town of Tabalosis—which happens to be the source of Huarmey’s water—were all gay men.

While Peruvians are left scratching their heads over the whole spectacle, I suppose there’s a small benefit to come out of this. Mayor Benítez has apparently stumbled upon the physical manifestation of pure gay: A metallic element called strontium (Chemical symbol Sr, atomic weight 38), which occurs in higher-than-normal levels in his town’s water.

And I thought the only thing strontium caused was cancer. Go figure!