Here are all the fantastically amazing entries posted during March, 2012

A crowd of about 200 appeared in Queen’s Park, Ontario yesterday, protesting provincial legislation that will help eliminate anti-gay bullying in schools. This rally also marked the unveiling of some brand new terminology to be used by the anti-gay lobby, as a spokesperson began referring to Gay-Straight Alliances as “homosexual sex clubs.” The protesters then unexpectedly switched topics to rally against school-time “kidnapping, murder, and treason gangs,” previously known as chess clubs.

March 30th, 2012 12:23 pm

Ice cream maker Ben and Jerry’s has renamed a flavour of their signature frozen treat from Oh! My! Apple Pie! to Apple-y Ever After as a way of showing their support for same-sex marriage in the UK. Opponents of equality are now reportedly lobbying for their own flavour introduction: Living in Sinnamon.

March 27th, 2012 10:41 am

Trans Contestant Booted From Beauty Contest For Being Born Male

March 26th, 2012

Jenna Talackova is accosted by a pagent official: "Now, kindly hold still a moment while the Former Penis Detector (TM) does its thing..."

Jenna Talackova, a contestant in this year’s Miss Universe Canada pageant, has been disqualified from the competition after organisers discovered that she’s trans.

Pageant judges selected Talackova from numerous other applicants to compete in the finals for the Donald Trump-owned competition, but after Denis Davilla, one of the directors, had suspicions that she didn’t meet the requirements of being a “naturally born female,” he asked her about her history. After confirming she was born a male, Jenna was pulled from the competition that same day.

Personally, I don’t get it. It’s a beauty contest. Judges thought she was beautiful enough to advance to the finals. What’s the problem, exactly?

Perhaps she may not have fared well during the portion of the competition where contestants demonstrate a live birth, but otherwise she clearly had the looks and determination to win.

Give ‘em hell, Jenna!

Nation for Marriage, one of the United States’ largest anti-gay lobby groups, is launching a boycott against Starbucks over the company’s support for equal marriage rights. Gosh, I wonder how Starbucks will weather the loss of their closed-minded, religious fanatic customer segment. I’ll be sure to report on the monetary damage as more news comes in, although for brevity, I’ll henceforth refer to the lost customer segment by their names: Buck and Peggy.

March 23rd, 2012 2:48 pm

Canada has a new, openly gay MP this week after a byelection on Monday filled Jack Layton’s old seat with the NDP’s Craig Scott. Congratulations, Craig!

March 21st, 2012 1:30 pm

The Muslim Council of Britain has declared that equal marriage rights are “unnecessary and unhelpful.” What a coincidence—I was just thinking the same thing about declarations from the Muslim Council of Britain!

March 20th, 2012 1:59 pm

Zimbabwean Senator Suggests “Sex Gadgets” To Curb Homosexuality

March 19th, 2012

A man hands a blow-up doll to a prisoner: "Good news, prisoner! I brought a cure for your homosexuality."

A Zimbabwean senator has recommended cutting back on prisoners’ food budget and providing “sex gadgets” instead as a strategy to reduce homosexuality from spreading throughout the country.

Speaking  before a parliamentary committee this month, Ms. Sithembile Mlotshwa explained her, uh, logic: “Considering that some of the same-sex orientation—homosexuality—come from prisons and when those people are out they then spread that orientation, what measures are you putting in place to make sure that vice is stopped?”

“In other countries,” she continued, “they provide sex gadgets.”

“[The prisoners] can stay without food, but they want their sexual desires to be satisfied whether you like it or not.”

Ms. Mlotshwa, mercifully, omitted what type of gadgets she had in mind. Although, I’m not sure why providing food and sex gadgets are necessarily mutually exclusive. Surely there exists something that will serve as both, am I right?

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day, kids! If you’re planning on heading out to a parade—specifically the world’s largest in New York City—you likely won’t be surprised that Irish gay groups are still banned from marching (yes, in 2012). Gee, I wonder if there are places where Irish gays celebrating their heritage wouldn’t be a problem… Like in, oh, say… Ireland. Personally, I don’t see what the New York organizers are worried about. I mean, the only consequence would be better floats.

March 17th, 2012 11:13 am

An anti-gay lobby group called Scotland for Marriage is publishing the results of an in-house poll which claims that a majority of Scotspersons opposes equal marriage rights, a deviation from what reputable polling companies suggest. Perhaps this difference can be explained by the wording of the question, which asks if you agree with the following statement: “Since gay and lesbian couples already have the same rights as married couples available to them under civil partnership, they should not be allowed to redefine marriage for everyone else.” Uhh…

March 15th, 2012 9:46 am

The Utah state senate has voted in favour of a bill forbidding discussion of homosexuality in classrooms, even if a question was posed by a student. Other jurisdictions are now reportedly considering legislation forbidding discussion of Utah.

March 8th, 2012 1:38 pm

Slate investigates the claims that same-sex marriage will have all sorts of negative effects on society, finding that facts simply don’t support this claim. Then, again, facts aren’t exactly an occupation if the anti-gay lobby.

March 7th, 2012 11:01 pm

Even in jurisdictions where same-sex marriage is legal, gay couples in the United States are paying a lot more in taxes because the federal marriage benefits available for straight couples aren’t available to gay ones. I guess that’s one strategy for paying down the debt—tax the gays instead of the 1%!

March 6th, 2012 3:38 pm

Homophobic Lobby Group Freaks Out Over Anti-Bullying Video

March 5th, 2012

Jafar from Alladin holds up a sign: "Burnaby Parent's Voice"

Hundreds of students from schools across Vancouver have collaborated to create a YouTube video called the Pink Project, a creative effort to help spread the message that bullying is not OK. The video features students from eleven different schools dancing to Lady Gaga’s “Born this Way,” all wearing pink shirts with the message “Acceptance; Born this way.” It’s pretty great, and looks like it was a lot of fun to do!

Of course, some people just don’t like the sound of childrens’ laughter. Take Burnaby Parent’s Voice, for example. They’re the anti-gay lobby group that was formed exclusively to oppose the Burnaby School Board’s anti-homophobia policies. They’ve written the Premier of British Columbia in an attempt to stop the Pink Project video from being posted online.

Hey, let’s see if they were successful.

The Pink Project: An adorable dance routine featuring hundreds of students against crazy, homophobic bullies like the lobbyists at Burnaby Parent’s Voice.

Hmm… Seems OK to me. In fact, it’s more than OK; it’s fabulous!

One Million Moms, a US-based anti-gay lobby group, has demanded that Toys R Us pull an issue of Archie Comics featuring a gay wedding from its store shelves, or face an organized boycott. If you’re thinking of heading down to Toys R Us to pick up a copy for yourself, though, you might not have much luck. According to Archie Comics, the issue has completely sold out! Hey, do you think One Million Moms will boycott this site? I could use a new surge in readers!

March 2nd, 2012 7:39 pm

Kool 105.5, a Calgary-based radio station, is tackling bullying with a pretty novel incentive: A contest. The school that signs the most pledges asserting that everyone has “the right to feel safe, respected, valued, and accepted” will get a free concert performed during school hours. Of course, if anyone breaks the pledge, all memory of the concert will be surgically removed by a brain specialist.

March 2nd, 2012 5:48 pm