United States May Relax Customs Restrictions For Same-Sex Couples

April 2nd, 2012

Airport Security Check. Straights: No Aerosols, No Weapons. Gays: No Aerosols, No Weapons, No Wedding Rings.

The United States’ Department of Homeland Security has proposed finally lifting restrictions requiring same-sex couples to fill out separate customs declarations.

Currently, heterosexual families are allowed to fill out one customs declaration per household, while same-sex couples are treated as if they were strangers that happen to be on the same flight. This discrepancy is a direct result of the 1996 federal Defense of Marriage Act, which forbids any federal recognition of same-sex partnerships.

Treating same-sex families as, well, families is estimated to save two million dollars as the procedure is streamlined.

There’s no word yet on whether this new procedure will apply to foreign (i.e. Canadian) same-sex couples entering the United States, but if it does, we may be able to start using the phrase “land of the free” in relation to the U.S. without using air quotes and chuckling.