Report Says Women Drivers Cause Homosexuality

October 15th, 2012

The New Fjord Focus: Shoots intense rainbow beams from its headlights! Anyone caught by their prismatic splendor WILL question their sexuality.


Saudi Arabia is one of the only countries in the world that forbids women from driving. Any woman caught behind the wheel there is subject to arrest and lashings.

Amidst growing international criticism for this policy, a report prepared for the country’s legislative assembly has been released to justify their laws and bolster support. The report’s findings don’t look good, I’m afraid: Allowing women to drive vehicles, it says, would “increase prostitution, pornography, homosexuality, and divorce.”

The authors didn’t detail how women drivers actually results in these things, but my mother drove me places growing up, and I turned out gay. So—as you can see—all the pieces fit.