OK, kiddo! Here are all the fantastically amazing posts tagged with Anglicans

Gays Blessings Causing “Chaos,” Says Anglican Head

February 12th, 2010

Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams has warned that gay blessings and the ordination of women in the Anglican church had caused “chaos.”

“Fellowship,” Williams said, “is strained or shattered and trust destroyed.”

The Archbishop began to explain further, but then the world ended before he could finish.

Anti-Gay Anglicans Lose Court Battle

December 4th, 2009

Everytime you sue someone, Jesus smiles fondly.

An amusingly bizarre rift over same-sex blessings in the Anglican Church has felt its latest tremor after a court decision late last month.

Harnessing the healing power of embittered legal conflict, four Anglican parishes sued the Diocese in May over a property battle stemming from a disagreement about same-sex blessings and other differences of very, very little significance. (The lawsuit was heartily endorsed by Jesus himself, purportedly.)

Well, now the court has reached its verdict. The land and buildings claimed by St. John’s Shaughnessy, St. Matthew’s, St. Matthias, and St. Luke’s parishes are rightfully the property of the Diocese, and the breakaway parishes can not seize them for themselves.

Having settled the property dispute, all sides have now decided to put their disagreements behind them and rejoin, strengthened by a renewed commitment to sheltering the homeless, feeding the hungry, and offering comfort to the less fortunate…

Hahaha! Ah, I’m just pulling your leg. They’re totally still exchanging petty insults and stuff.

Vatican Welcomes Anti-Gay Anglicans Into Fold

October 21st, 2009

File photo

As far as religions go, I suppose you could do worse than the Anglicans. They at least entertain discussions about how to best integrate their doctrine with reality. They bless gay couples, for example, and extend to them the same dignities as any other parishioner—including eligibility for ordination.

Of course, all this love and tolerance doesn’t sit too well with churchgoers who miss the unity that only old-fashioned judgment and condemnation can bring. Priests and bishops have split, some have been fired, the locks on church doors have been changed to keep out congregations with differing perspectives—they’ve even started suing each other. Yet, all this kicking and moaning hasn’t stopped the church from trying to stay as relevant as it can. What are bitter coots to do?

Well, the Vatican has a proposal: Join the Catholic Church! Be as rabidly anti-gay as you like! Heck, they’ll even overlook the events that caused the Anglicans to split from Catholicism in the first place (it was a disagreement over King Henry VIII’s denied divorce in 1534, for what it’s worth) and recognize differing Anglican traditions by creating a new legal entity.

Aw, isn’t that just the most adorablest thing ever? There’s just nothing like a common dislike of us gays to mend a 475 year old religious rift.

Anglicans Go To Court Over Same-Sex Blessings

May 15th, 2009

Jesus would so approve

Same-sex blessings have been the epicentre of a bizarrely deep rift in the Anglican Church. Now the divisive issue has culminated in.. well, in pretty much the same way as all ridiculous issues: A court case.

Yes, the Anglicans are suing each other, as four parishes in British Columbia (St. John’s Shaughnessy, St. Matthew’s, St. Matthias and St. Luke’s, and the Church of the Good Shepherd) are scheduled to meet the Diocese of New Westminster in court next week over the ownership of four Anglican church buildings.

The Diocese locked out the parishes from their churches last year over disagreements about same-sex blessings, the appointment of a gay bishop, and other absurdly small differences in doctrine.

While both sides lament that it has come to this, they had failed to reach an agreement through a mutually selected, third-party mediator: Jesus.

Church Proposes Jail Time for Attending Gay Weddings

March 18th, 2009

Check his pockets for rice!

James over at Gay Persons of Color has dug up an unreal story about the Anglican Church of Nigeria and their formal proposal to jail anyone who participates in a gay wedding.

The proposed law, delivered to a parliamentary committee this week, would incarcerate gay couples who get married for five years, as well as any witnesses to the ceremony for one year.

Well…  Someone’s awfully cranky.

Many governments worldwide are actively homophobic, but jailing well-wishers who simply attend a gay wedding would, essentially, make it illegal not to be homophobic.

But perhaps there’ll be nothing to worry about. As James points out, the proposed law would be entirely moot—at least, according to the government. Just last month, Nigeria’s Minister of Foreign Affairs declared that an exhaustive, country-wide search for gays and lesbians had been carried out and that they “could not come across any Nigerian with such sexuality.”

Trading Churches: Gay Blessing Edition

March 13th, 2009

Sorry. No Homers.

The  Traditional Anglican Communion, a group of Anglicans who abandoned the global Anglican church over same-sex blessings and the ordination of women, has decided to go back to their very early roots and re-join the Roman Catholic Church, if The Vatican will let them.

Anglicans spit from Rome in 1534 over their refusal to annul the marriage of King Henry VIII. Nothing like a common dislike of the gays to mend a 475-year old rift, huh?

Toronto Anglicans Latest To Ponder Same-Sex Blessings

February 16th, 2009

This is silly. Sorry.

The gravely divided Anglican church is super interesting for some reason. The issue of same-sex blessings, of all things, has become the epicentre of a massive fracture, and their attempts to stay united has led to some of the most bizarre declarations I’ve heard from any religion.

Why, just in June, 2007, Canadian Anglican leaders congregated to discuss what to do about same-sex blessings and their divided church. After intense debate, they officially declared that same-sex unions are perfectly compatible with the core doctrine of the church. Hours later, they voted to forbid the blessing of same-sex couples.

Since then, several of Canada’s Anglican diocese have broken ranks with the church to bless same-sex parishioners. Toronto Anglicans are now about to join the Ottawa and Montréal diocese in allowing the blessing of same-sex couples. (And, just to be clear, we’re just talking about blessings here; not even marriage.)

But the church is in pretty rough shape. Priests have been fired, churches have split—with some opting to become part of the Anglican community located in the province of Southern Cone, South America. They’ve even barred some of their own bishops from attending conferences, all due to same-sex blessings.

From their actions, though, it seems they can all agree on at least one thing: This is definitely the best use of their resources. You know, instead of things like, oh… Housing the poor, tending to the sick, etcetera, etcetera…

Four More Churches Split Over Gay Blessings

October 22nd, 2008

Four more churches have voted to break from the Anglican Church of Canada over division on whether gay parishoners should receive blessings.

The Anglican Church is in tatters due to in-fighting over doctrine, with gay blessings being the centrepiece issue. Fourteen congregations have left so far.

Ah, another disagreement over what God wants. If history serves as any indication, I think this will all be resolved quickly through a happy consensus with much rejoicing and merriment…

Anglicans Halt Gay Blessings

August 6th, 2008

Worldwide Anglican bishops have ended their once-a-decade conference with a “wide agreement” on implementing a moratorium on gay blessings. In a statement, Anglican Leader Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams said that non-acceptance of the moratorium would put the entire church in “grave peril.”

(As an off-topic interjection, nominees for this year’s Enjoyable Hyperbole Awards will be announced shortly. Stay tuned!)

The issue of same-sex blessings has deeply divided the Anglican community, which genuinely appears on the brink of separation. Progressive churches say that the bible has never condemned or forbid loving, monogamous, same-sex unions, and the overwhelming message of love instructs them to bless all parishioners without judgement. Conservative factions disagree, particularly within the international Anglican community.

The rift has been controversial, to understate the matter. Over 200 bishops have boycotted the conference, and one gay bishop was barred from attending. Both sides did appear to agree to lay off the rhetoric, though. In a joint statement, the bishops announced that “we need to repent of statements and actions that have further damaged the dignity of homosexual persons.” The church then imploded from the contradiction.

Worldwide Anglican Conference Bars Their Own Bishop

July 14th, 2008

Contention Prevention

The Lambeth Conference meeting of Anglican bishops, a once-a-decade event in the worldwide Anglican community, has banned one of their own Bishops, Gene Robinson, from attending because he is gay.

Robinson is the first openly gay U.S. Episcopal bishop. While his appointment was controversial within the Anglican community, he is decidedly a bishop. His banning has prompted an appeal from Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who called it a mistake to disinvite Robinson, and pleaded with the Anglican community to unite itself.

Conference organizers justified Robinson’s ban by saying his invitation would have become the focus of the event.

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