OK, kiddo! Here are all the fantastically amazing posts tagged with Elton John
Magazine Featuring Gay Family Covered With “Family Shield”
Harps, a small grocery chain in the southern United States, issued an online apology this week after using a “family shield” to cover up copies of Us Weekly featuring a photo of Elton John, his husband David Furnish, and their newly adopted baby.
The shield, a piece of opaque plastic about the size of a magazine cover, is labeled with the words: “Family Shield: To protect young Harps shoppers.”
To protect them from… photos of families? Well, I can’t say they didn’t name it appropriately.
Still, what a marvelously stupid concept! It gives me an idea.
- Elton John’s new family too obscene for US [News.com.au]
Belarus Government Wary Of Elton John
Government officials in Belarus requested to see tapes of Elton John performances before approving a concert in the country, fearing that the popular songwriter would turn audience members gay.
The Belarusian Public Council for Morality requested several tapes, just in case they miss the hidden, gay-inducing laser beams the first few times.
Elton John’s mystical gay powers are actually a common concern. A few years ago, a Caribbean archdeacon pleaded for people to skip out on an Elton John concert in Tobago out of fears it would turn locals gay.
Beware of Elton John’s Gayness
Archdeacon Philip Isaac has issued a dire warning for people considering going to the the Plymouth Jazz Festival in the Caribbean island of Tobago: A scheduled performance by Elton John might turn you gay!
“The artist is one of God’s children and while his lifestyle is questionable he needs to be ministered to,” said Isaac. “His visit to the island can open the country to be tempted towards pursuing his lifestyle.”
Festival organizers say the concert will go ahead as planned. What guts! All this, despite the risk of having the entire island turned into a flying nation of gayness, which tours the world on rainbow sails, bringing gay bars to the world’s queer-deprived towns. Hmm… Maybe it’ll visit my old hometown in Alberta.
- Church leader fears Elton John’s visit [Canada.com]
- Can Elton John’s music turn you gay? [E Canada Now]
