As many of you know, we gays possess supernatural powers capable of untold terrors. Religious ambassadors have identified gay people as the source of everything from mass bird deaths to Earthquakes (and even more mundane things like the widespread implementation of airport security patdowns). Until now, though, I don’t think we’ve ever been blamed for the collapse of world empires.

But, lo!

Professor Roberto De Mattei, the head of Italy’s National Research Council, declared last week that the “abhorrent presence of a few gays infected a good part of the Roman people,” introducing a “contagion of homosexuality and effeminacy” that made the empire susceptible to attack from hordes of manly, barbarian invaders.

Yes, it appears the culture that brought us gladiators and near world domination was defeated by the “presence of a few gays.” Clearly, our powers are doubling by the minute! With these capabilities as leverage, perhaps we ought to start making better demands than just equal treatment in law and to be left alone from discrimination?

• Gay Romans weakened empire: prof [The Star Phoenix]

The Vatican is opposing a French-led U.N. resolution that calls on worldwide governments to abolish laws that criminalize homosexuality. Many developing countries around the world still imprison gay people just for being gay, and several even go as far to enforce a death penalty.

Celestino Migliore, a Vatican spokesperson, justified the church’s support for persecuting gay people by saying that de-criminalization would “create new and implacable discriminations.” “For example,”  he said, “states which do not recognize same-sex unions as matrimony will be pilloried and made an object of pressure.”

Franco Grillini, leader of Italy’s largest gay rights group, was astonished by the Vatican’s reasoning, calling it “madness”:

The Vatican’s reasoning smacks of total idiocy and madness. The French resolution, which is supported by all 27 members of the European Union, has nothing to do with gay marriage. It is about stopping jail and the death penalty for homosexuals.

After making their statement, Vatican officials retreated back into the hall of the most amazingly homoerotic artwork ever.

• Vatican attacked for opposing gay decriminalization [Reuters Canada]

Gay policemen in Italy are staging a mass coming-out in protest of anti-gay discrimination in the force.

A spokesperson for the event, Nicola Cicchitti, called the protest a way to counter “creeping discrimination” in the force, where officers often feel the need to stay closeted to avoid ostracism and forced transfers.

Organizers started the event after a gay officer was sanctioned by the force after winning a gay beauty contest posing in uniform for the Mr. Uniform category. Next year he’ll reportedly avoid this by entering in his second-favourite category: Mr. Casual Autumn Wear.

• Italy’s gay policemen join forces to come out [The Observer]

Italy’s Ministry of Transport has been found guilty of discrimination after they told a gay man that he must re-take his drivers test due to a “sexual identity disturbance.”

Danilo Giuffrida, a 26 year old from Catania, Italy, was told that if he didn’t take his drivers test a second time, his license would be revoked. After successfully passing the drivers test for a second time, Danilo’s license was renewed for one year instead of the ten years for heterosexuals.

Imagine that. I didn’t think my driving was so inherently dangerous. Though, really, if the Ministry of Transport wants to think that being gay is a disability, that’s not too bad of a trade-off for one of those parking tags.

• Italian wins damages over gay driving test retake [Canada.com]
• Damages for gay Italian driver forced to retake test [Guardian]

Luciano Moggi, the former managing director of Juventus, Italy’s largest soccer club, went on a bizarre tirade against gays this week during a televised interview. The controversial official, who is currently being tried for corruption scandals, said that…

Well, actually, I think I’ll just let you read it verbatim:

There are no gays in football. I don’t know if players are against having them in their team but I definitely am. In the teams where I worked there were never any. I never wanted to have a homosexual player and I still wouldn’t sign one.

I’m old school, but I know the ambience of football and a gay wouldn’t be able to survive within it. A homosexual cannot do the job of a footballer. The football world is not designed for them; it’s a special atmosphere—one in which you stand naked under the showers.

So, there you have it: Gays don’t like soccer, and even if they did, any latent athletic ability would be invariably foiled by their beacon of gayness. Which is alright, I guess, since us gays couldn’t handle after-game showering without, presumably, violating all our teammates anyway.

Incidentally, while former professional soccer players have come out as gay in the past, no current players are openly out of the closet. I can’t help but wonder why that is…

Thanks to Slap reader Kathrine for this gem, with an extra hat tip to The Offside.

• Football is no place for gays, says Moggi [AFP]

Giancarlo Gentilini—the deputy mayor of Treviso, Italy—exploded on live television Thursday, shouting homophobic slurs and encouraging the systematic murder of all gays in the region:

I will immediately give orders to my forces so that they can carry out an ethnic cleansing of faggots.

The faggots must go to other [places] where they are welcome. Here in Treviso there is no chance for faggots or the like.

Just despicable.

Hundreds of Italians congregated in Treviso to protest the outburst, many wearing pink triangles reminiscent of the ones gay men were forced to wear in Nazi concentration camps. Many politicians were also visibly upset; Family Minister, Rosy Bindi, was furious:

The term “ethnic cleansing” evokes tragic chapters of history which have brought death and suffering to millions of people. Nobody, and certainly not somebody with public responsibility, is authorized to use such language.

Like Canada, Italy has laws forbidding the incitement of violence and hatred against identifiable groups. Prosecutors are investigating.

• Italians protest at politician’s anti-gay outburst [Canada.com]
• Italian Politician Calls For Ethnic Cleansing Of Gays [365 Gay]