OK, kiddo! Here are all the fantastically amazing posts tagged with Lutherans
Tornado Punishment For Same-Sex Blessings: Preacher
Looks like there’s even more evidence that us gays control the weather! A Minnesota pastor has announced that a tornado which terrorized Minneapolis last week is the direct consequence of an effort to allow the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America to bless celibate, gay couples who vow to remain “chaste, monogamous, and lifelong.”
Pastor John Piper said that city’s downtown Lutheran church had its steeple damaged because “Jesus Christ controls the wind, including all tornadoes,” emphasizing that all destruction was a sign that the church needs to “turn from the promotion of behaviours that lead to destruction.
The church was amidst discussions to possibly bless and acknowledge gay parishioners, so long as they do nothing to express each other’s love physically. The measure passed on Thursday with exactly the two-thirds majority required, and not one vote more.
Now, you all better stay on my good side or—so help me—I’ll summon some moderately strong winds to topple over your patio furniture. Mark my words, you will be inconvenienced!
- Baptist Preacher Says Minneapolis Tornado was Message from God [Digital Journal]
Entire Church Suspended For Hiring Gay Pastor
An entire Lutheran congregation in Newmarket, Ontario has been suspended over the hiring of a gay associate pastor.
Lionel Ketola, a gay, legally married man of faith, was ordained last May in a ceremony that drew more than 300 well-wishing parishoners. However, this did not sit well with Bishop Michael Pryse of the Eastern Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church, who officially informed the Holy Cross Lutheran Church this week that they have been suspended over the hiring.
The Synod’s actions are reportedly based on a lesser known biblical passage: And Jesus gathered his followers and spoke to them: “Eeew! A gay! Could someone get him out of here, please? Anyone? Seriously, I’ll turn this church around and there’ll be no heaven for anyone. There we go; thank you, sir.”
- Congregation punished for hiring married gay pastor [The Record]
Religiously Busy Independent Singapore Lawyers
In my web travels, I often collect stories that I intend to share, but then become distracted by newer, shinier stories—or feel too lazy to illustrate them. This is what becomes of those stories: a Pile o’ Slaps!
While the Anglicans are battling each other over whether or not to bless gay couples and clergy, the Lutheran Church is facing censure over doing just that. Ooh—Burn! That’ll learn ‘em for interpreting ancient texts relative to cultural understandings!
Tom Lukiwski, the Tory MP who said he would “spend the rest of my life making amends” to the gay community after using homophobic slurs, refused an invitation to join in his riding’s gay Pride celebrations. His rationale: He’s too busy. Interesting, ’cause I’m too busy to believe him.
A television station in Singapore has been fined for showing a gay couple decorating their nursery in a home renovation show. Singapore law forbids images and stories of gay people in the media, lest the country catch a bad case of the gay. Wait a sec… Since this site is accessible worldwide, that makes it illegal. And you, the readers, are now participants in a seamy, criminal underworld. Oh yeah, this site just screams “badass.”
Craig Chandler, the former Alberta Tory nominee who was booted from the party over homophobic remarks and human rights violations, lost his bid as an independent in a landslide victory for his opponent. Funny—he said that he was winning after some in-house polling. Does that mean we can no longer trust the claims of politicians
Finally, over 1500 same-sex couples who were awarded Canada Pension Plan benefits in a class action lawsuit can expect to actually receive their pension after a court decided that the case lawyers were not entitled to $15 million dollars in fees they were planning to take from the award. Imagine that; all those poor lawyers ever wanted to do was charge exorbitant amounts to the public purse for simple justice and equality.
Well, have a great Monday!
