OK, kiddo! Here are all the fantastically amazing posts tagged with Malaysia
“Homosexual Friction Heat” Causes Swine Flu Susceptibility: Researcher
Masturbation and “homosexual activities” will significantly increase the body’s susceptibility to Swine Flu—at least according to Dr. V. M. Palaniappan, a Malaysian practitioner of complimentary therapy.
Dr. Palaniappan says that his 33 years of research shows that heat friction brought on by homosexual activities will turn the body “hyperacidised,” increasing opportunities of infection by H1N1, the virus causing Swine Flu. Palaniappan emphasised, however, that intercourse between opposite-sex partners was “absolutely safe,” presumably because heterosexual sex is less hot.
Hey, who am I to question science?
Now, if you didn’t get this news in time and are worried that your body has become hyperacidised with acidosity brought on by ultragayification, Dr. Palaniappan does have some advice. Drinking coconut water twice daily, he says, may help counteract the acidity caused by gay friction.
Thanks to all of the Slap readers who sent in this bit of ridiculousness!
Malaysia Issues Fatwa On Tomboys, Yoga
Tomboys, lesbians, and yoga have all been forbidden by Muslims in Malaysia after the National Fatwa Council declared them to be against Islam.
Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat, a spiritual leader and member of the Malaysian Islamic party PAS, said that no one is allowed to protest the fatwa, including non-Muslims:
Not only non-Muslims but also Muslims cannot protest against any fatwa. All fatwa are based on the Koran and Sunnah and to protest against them is like going against the teachings of Allah. Who are we to go against Allah’s commands, are we that great?
Nevertheless, tomboys, yoga-enthusists, and lesbians across the country have been protesting the fatwa. Moreoever, I, Mark, in solidarity, will continue to wear men’s clothes and act boyish, sign up for Yoga, and—what was that last one again?
Recently Deported Gay Refugee Sought By Police
Troubling news from Malaysia, as Canada’s latest gay deportee is now being sought by police in his home country.
Amirthalingam Kulenthiran, who applied for Canadian refugee status in 2003, was deported three weeks ago because he failed to prove he was gay. His refugee claim was based on the fact that homosexuality is illegal in Malaysia, saying that police there had beaten him while in custody.
Now that Amirthalingam is back in Malaysia, police stations across the country have been ordered to stay on the lookout. Ismail Omar, the Deputy Inspector-General of Police, said that the search measures are merely to investigate his claims of police brutality:
What was his offense? That’s just it, if he did not commit any, how could the police arrest him? We are sad that he had accused us just like that.
Homosexuality in Malaysia carries a prison sentence of 20 years, or caning. Just before he was deported from Canada, Amirthalingam filed an emergency pre-removal risk assessment, but was rejected.
I wish Amirthalingam the very best of luck. While it’s sad that gay Malaysians must stay closeted, hopefully this situation will help draw attention to the problem there.
- Malaysian police probe gay deportee [Asian Pacific Post]
Canada Deports Another Gay Refugee
Another gay refugee has exhausted all options of remaining in Canada, and has been ordered to be deported.
Kulenthiran Amirthalingam first applied for refugee status in 2003, saying that he had been physically and sexually abused by police in his home country of Malaysia after being accused of being gay. There, homosexuality carries a sentence of 20 years of prison or caning. Canada’s own travel guide advises gay citizens to avoid the country, since arrests of gay people are common.
Unsurprisingly, given Canada’s history on the matter, Kulenthiran was deported because his adjudicator didn’t believe he was gay. Gay refugees are often expected to provide proof that they are gay after years of hiding it in their home country. Despite this, Immigration Minister Diane Finley has refused to overturn the ruling.
I wish Kulenthiran the very best of luck, and hope that Canada wakes up and reforms its refugee system to deal with these cases more sensitively soon.
- Last refugee bid refused to gay Malaysian [CBC News]
- Don’t send me back to Malaysia, gay man pleads [Montréal Gazette]
