OK, kiddo! Here are all the fantastically amazing posts tagged with Stephen Harper

Anti-Gay Marriage Vote Soon

September 20th, 2006

Destruction of the Family

Ah, mid-September. That time of year when all of our gleeful politicians return to that magical parliament building in Ottawa and discuss matters at the forefront of the Canadian consciousness. Now, what issue do you suppose will be one of the earliest priorities this autumn?

(OK, I’ll admit it; that’s totally a rhetorical lead-in.)

That’s right kids, our brand new prime minister, Stephen Bus—err, Stephen Harper, resumed work this week and promised to act swiftly on his campaign promise to revoke same-sex marriage!

Now, naturally, the vote to re-open the “big debate” is expected to fail spectacularly, but don’t let that thought make you too comfortable with your full equality! Justice Minister Vic Toews has announced that, failing a ban on gay nuptials, the government will also introduce some shiny new legislation to “enhance protections for those who oppose same-sex marriage on religious or moral grounds!”

Hmm… You know, that sounds a little familiar… Almost like a defeated Alberta bill that would have removed all punishment for those who wished to refuse public services to gays on grounds of “moral objections.” You know, the one that also almost forced teachers to send out parental warnings before even acknowledge the existence of same-sex marriage in Canada. Yes, yes, I’m quite certain that was the same language used to describe it.

Anyway, whatever becomes of this idea, it looks like it’s going to be a fun-filled autumn of family-protecting (i.e. alarmingly hateful) goodness ahead!

Well, back to work! I haven’t quite yet filled my quota of destroyed families today. The gay agenda requires at least 15.

Ou Est Harper?

August 14th, 2006

Where's Harper?

The International AIDS Conference—the bi-annual event said to bring nearly 27,000 researchers, patients, journalists, and activists to the fine city of Toronto—kicked off yesterday with an evening of, well, really exciting stuff!

Celebrities, including Bill and Melinda Gates, Bill Clinton, Richard Gere, and Alicia Keys were in attendance. Even former prime minister Paul Martin said he’d be there to make a speech (before the conservatives triggered a snap election), as previous PMs have done (Yes, even Brian Mulroney). In fact, it seems like everyone who’s anyone was there to help put a stop to one of the world’s largest pandemics. Everyone except… Gee, who’s that guy again?

Ah, yes; silly me: Prime Minister Stephen Harper was notably absent, instead touring an arctic military base to “defend arctic sovereignty.”

Organisers and attendants of the AIDS conference are baffled, including Stephen Lewis, UN director for AIDS/HIV in Africa:

It’s a dreadful mistake in political judgment, and it’s not excusable. It’s a lost opportunity to tell the world how Canada feels about this pandemic. The Arctic sovereignty issue will still be there [when the conference ends]. Forty million people worldwide carry this virus, and most will die preventable deaths. What greater scourge is there than that?

I’ve asked time and again why he isn’t coming, and the answer I keep getting is that he doesn’t want to be booed.

Well, booing certainly seems to be a big problem for our prime minister and his MPs. But, hey, if he keeps this up—and with a little luck after the next election—maybe that won’t be a problem for him anymore.

Harper to Resurrect Dead Issue

June 7th, 2006

Dead Issue

Horror fans rejoice? Canadian prime minister Stephen Harper is raising the dead! Well, kinda.

Harper announced that he’ll re-open the “marriage debate” this autumn in an attempt to stop gay people from marrying their partners. This, even though the issue is widely considered dead. Deader than a dead deadbolt. A dead deadbolt that died a deadly death.

As Liberal MP Keith Martin put it:

This issue is dead. It’s over. The provinces, the courts and Parliament have decided the same-sex marriage is the law of the land.

A good observation. But what do our wacky Conservative MPs have to say?

The Stephen Harper Seal of Approval

Well, despite receiving Stevey’s official “Let’s do it!”, some tories are actually using common sense, openly pondering why it’s necessary to revisit the, well, causeless issue. Fisheries Minister Loyola Hearn even described it as being more divisive than the mission to Afghanistan.

At this stage, we’ve debated it pretty thoroughly. Once you’ve reached the optimum, nobody is really happy, but if it’s the best that you can do, then it’s probably best to just leave it alone.

Obviously, I’m pretty happy with the optimum (you know, full equality). But if anyone else is still unhappy, it’s best to keep in mind what the old zombie horror movies have taught us: When anything dead starts to come back to life, shoot it before it eats your brain. And this issue is quite thoroughly dead.

Out-Of-Town Update

June 5th, 2006

Out of Town, Folks!

Well, I’m out of town for today, folks! But, never fear! I’ve prepared a special out-of-town update to let you know how some of those crazy anti-gay characters I’ve been telling you about are getting along!

Harper Muzzle

Super crazy prime minister extrodinare, Stephen Harper, sent out a notice to his caucus last week, informing MPs that they are not to comment on the two gay mounties that are marrying this month. While Conservative MPs had no comment (duh), Liberal MP Scott Brison put it best: “If [Stephen Harper] doesn’t trust his caucus to be socially progressive, then why should Canadians trust his party to be socially progressive?” Sing it, bro!

Reassigned

The former principal found to have violated human rights codes for assuming a gay teacher was molesting students has been reassigned by the Halifax Regional School Board. And what, you may ask, is the job he’s being forced to give up? Why, director of human rights policies, of course! A job that he held for over a year even though the human rights violation occurred 6 years ago! Compounded with the bizarre survey asking gay teachers to identify themselves, the board doesn’t seem to be particularly big on diversity…

And that, my scrumptious little readers, is the out-of-town update!

Harper to Introduce Anti-Gay Bill

April 12th, 2006

Harper's To-Do List

Newly elected prime minister Stephen Harper (or little Bush—that adorable tyke), has vowed to introduce legislation revoking same-sex marriage in Canada. Although this bill would be unconstitutional and only 30% of Canadians polled said they want it to happen, he’s still trying his best. He’s such a little trooper!

Of course, the anti-gay crazies are positively salivating at the opportunity to get all “holier than thou” on our collective ass again. Gwen Landolt of the right-wing Christian lobby group, REAL Women of Canada, was busy pretending that society had been thrust into chaos since the equal marriage law. Chaos!

What about the question of clergy? What are their rights? And what are the rights of children?

Gee, those are, uh, good questions, Gwen. Just let me fiddle with the dials on my super go backwards in time machine where you can get them all settled… again.

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