OK, kiddo! Here are all the fantastically amazing posts tagged with United States

US General: Allowing Gay Soldiers Lead to Massacre

March 22nd, 2010

Glowing skull energy destroys Earth.

John Sheehan, a retired army general from the United States, has blamed the lifting of a ban on gay troops in the Dutch army for the 1995 Bosnian massacre.

Serbian forces overwhelmed Dutch peacekeepers stationed in Bosnia fifteen years ago, leading to one of the largest genocides in Europe since World War II. Approximately 8,000 men and children were killed by Serbian forces.

Sheehan, speaking to a senate committee currently discussing a proposal to end the country’s ridiculous policy banning openly gay men and women from serving in the military, said that the Dutch would have prevented the Bosnian catastrophe if only they hadn’t “made a conscious effort to socialize their military,” adding “that includes open homosexuality.”

Roger Van de Wetering, a spokesperson for the Dutch Defence Ministry, dismissed the comments as “total nonsense:”

The whole operating in Srebrenica and the drama that took place over there was thoroughly investigated by Dutch and international authorities and none of these investigations as ever concluded or suggested a link between homosexual military personnel and the things that happened over there.

Well, duh!

School Cancels Prom Rather Than Allow Gay Dates

March 19th, 2010

A school in rural Mississippi has cancelled the school prom rather than letting a lesbian student bring her same-sex partner.

Constance McMillen said she approached her school’s administration about taking her date to the prom and wearing a dashing tuxedo, but was told that the two must attend separately, be accompanied by “guys,” wear dresses, and refrain from dancing together. When McMillen refused these conditions, the school cancelled the prom altogether—for everyone.

Say, this is just like the time back in grade 1 when I took my ultra-gay He-Man dolls action figures home rather than let my friend Matthew play with them. Except now it’s over a prom with an entire school board’s administration staff, some formal written policies, harsh sanctions, and a pending lawsuit from the ACLU. Other than that, it’s pretty close though.

As for what Constance McMillen thinks of the whole thing, here’s what she told the media: “I want my prom experience to be the same as all of the other students—a night to remember with the person I’m dating.”

Good on ya, Constance!

U.S. Senator Warns Of Man-Horse Marriage

March 17th, 2010

J.D. Hayworth, Senator John McCain’s primary challenger in the United State’s upcoming senate elections, is trying to ban same-sex marriage nationwide. Rather than offering any reasons why gay marriage is bad (they are awfully hard to come by, after all), he had this explanation:

You see, the Massachusetts Supreme Court, when it started this move toward same-sex marriage, actually defined marriage—now get this—it defined marriage as simply “the establishment of intimacy.” [...] I guess that would mean if you really had affection for your horse, I guess you could marry your horse. It’s just the wrong way to go, and the only way to protect the institution of marriage is with that federal marriage amendment that I support.

Quirky!

Hayworth is essentially declaring that if marriage is all about love, then it is impossible to legally deny marrying other “lovable” things—like horses.

The problem here—as if such an argument deserves any dissection—is that marriages aren’t one-way; they involve two people that love each other. Does a horse have the capacity to consent to such a partnership? Can it sign the necessary state documents? Can it uphold its legal responsibilities involving property, decision-making, taxes, etcetera?

The answer, of course, is neigh.

And with that, have a great Wednesday, kids!

Virginia Forcing Colleges To End Gay Protections

March 10th, 2010

Virginia is for (a restricted subset) of lovers

Ken Cuccinelli II, the Attorney General for the U.S. state of Virginia has formally warned all of the state’s colleges and universities that they must rescind their non-discrimination policies for gays, or face legal consequences.

Well, that’s all kinds of crazy. Surely “non-discrimination policies” is a really just some coded phrase to camouflage what might actually be a more reasonable request, right? Let’s look at Cuccinelli’s letter:

It is my advice that the law and public policy of the Commonwealth of Virginia prohibit a college or university from including “sexual orientation,” “gender identity,” “gender expression,” or like classification as a protected class within its non-discrimination policy absent specific authorization from the General Assembly.

Oh dear.

Yes, it appears that treating everyone equally, regardless of their sexual orientation, is illegal in Virginia. Discrimination with respect to employment and college admission is the letter of the law and, by golly, Cuccinelli is going to enforce it.

The state’s top universities—all of which have such non-discrimination policies—are reacting nervously, declining any official comments. Students, on the other hand, are having no trouble speaking their mind. Even though it’s in the middle of spring break, a Facebook group in support of equal treatment has already popped up with nearly 5,000 members.

Say, Cuccinelli does realize that being straight is a sexual orientation too, right? Hey, maybe this means I could start a gay-only faculty, offering degrees in fabulousness!

Special thanks to Slap reader Chase for alerting me to this craziness!

Catholic School Boots Preschooler For Having Gay Parents

March 8th, 2010

Sacred Heart of Jesus, a Catholic school in Boulder, Colorado, has kicked out a student after a year of preschool for having lesbian parents.

While an anonymous staffer revealed that the school itself is furious with the decision, the archdiocese is quite content with themselves. In an official statement, they said that booting the child from classes was simply a board-wide policy: “No person shall be admitted as a student in any Catholic school unless that person and his/her parent(s) subscribe to the school’s philosophy.”

Punishing children with expulsion because of the sexual orientation of the parents may be malicious, uncaring, and very un-Jesus-like, but, hey, that’s Catholic schools for you. As a private institutions they’re likely well within their right to behave as unethically as they like.

Not a very good place to send a child, come to think of it.

I managed to survive my entire gradeschool education in the Catholic system, but it wasn’t pretty.  Who knew that escaping that awful institution could have been so easy? If only I pretended my parents were gay!

Politician Accuses State of Selling Children to Gays

January 27th, 2010

Alfred Baldasaro, a Republican State Representative for New Hampshire, went on a bizarre rant this week, starting with the accusation that the state government was selling children to gay couples for $10,000 a pop.

The statement was made in reference to same-sex adoption, which has been legal in New Hampshire since 1999. When asked to rescind the offensive remark, Baldasaro simply repeated it: “I wanted to make sure everyone understood here, that this legislature sold the rights of $10,000 per kid under title four, when they said that homosexual couples, not married, can adopt.”

This was only the start of the rant, mind you. Baldasaro then directly compared gay couples to incestuous ones, asking “aren’t we discriminating against all them?”

“What about the Muslims?”, he continued. “Everyone’s praising the Muslims. They’re killing us. What about them, they want three, four wives. We’re discriminating against them!”

…

Well, that was a masterpiece of crazy.

Baldasaro’s statements were made in support of a bill that would ban same-sex marriage in the state, demonstrating exactly the type of people that are typically behind those types of bills.

A Tale Of Two City Mayors

December 21st, 2009

I love mayors. They’re inherently funny, like the head of a condo association—passionately seizing what amounts to no real power. And aren’t we in luck? There are two mayor stories today!

Bill Mills, the mayor of Truru, Nova Scotia (who you may remember for some earlier anti-gay shenanigans), is facing extra accusations of homophobia after declaring that gay men alone are responsible for a proposal to install a locked gate at Victoria Park, restricting hours for all residents. Many people are angry with the proposal, and while the park has a reputation of being shady (pun kind of intended), it has many problems, including drug dealers, underage drinking, and teenage hookups—not just gay cruising. Still, Mayor Mills has refused to withdraw or clarify his comments. The rest of the city council, meanwhile, has publicly distanced themselves from the mayor’s craziness.

In some better mayor-related news, our friends in Houston, Texas have reason to celebrate after electing their very first lesbian mayor! Annise Parker, an openly gay politician with a partner of 16 years and two adopted children, won with 53.6 percent of the vote in the normally über-conservative U.S. state. The voter turnout was one of the lowest in history, mind you, at just over 16 percent. But that’s just more proof that mayors are silly positions. Am I right?

DC Votes For Marriage Equality; Opponents Mobilize

December 16th, 2009

If anyone should obj---aw, crap...

Slap reader John writes in with some good news coming out of Washington, DC. The city council has voted in favour of legalizing equal marriage rights for gay couples!

The bill’s fate is now with congress, which has 30 days to veto it, which appears unlikely, or let it be.

Of course, gay marriage opponents are already in hysterics. A group calling themselves Stand4Marriage (meaning opposite-sex only marriage) has declared their intentions to put the issue to a referendum vote on the next ballot, asking every single resident whether or not to take away the marriage rights from gay couples.

Still, if all goes well, DC residents will have full equal marriage rights by St. Patrick’s Day. Here’s hoping for the best!

PMO Plagiarises States’ Ugandan Condemnation Over Gay Bill

November 27th, 2009

Simon says...

Uganda is on the verge of passing one of the most homophobic pieces of legislation in history. The law would not only proscribe the death penalty for “aggravated homosexuality” (say, that’s a new term), but would also imprison anyone who doesn’t out a gay person to the police within 24 hours of discovering their sexual orientation. The prison sentence would last three years, but there’s also a seven year prison term for anyone who defends the rights of gay and lesbian people.

Several governments have gone on record to condemn this atrocious bill, including Canada’s own Prime Minister’s Office. I don’t think the PMO put much effort into the condemnation, mind you, as it was stolen word-for-word from one issued by the United States several weeks ago.

Here’s the U.S. version:

If adopted, a bill further criminalizing homosexuality would constitute a significant step backwards for the protection of human rights in Uganda. We urge states to take all necessary measures to ensure that sexual orientation or gender identity may under no circumstances be the basis for criminal penalties, in particular executions, arrests, or detention.

And the Canadian one: (Identical phrases are in bold)

If adopted, a bill further criminalizing homosexuality would constitute a significant step backwards for the protection of human rights in Uganda. Canada has clearly spoken out against human-rights violations committed against persons on the basis of their sexual orientation and we urge states to take all necessary measures to ensure that sexual orientation and gender identity may under no circumstances be the basis for criminal penalties, in particular executions, arrests, or detention.

Of course, regardless of the PMO’s lack of imagination, condemnation was the exactly right thing to do. Here’s hoping that world governments do more than just verbally condemn Uganda’s Orwellian bill, and see to it that this horrific violation of human rights is put to an end immediately.

Lesbian Refugee Fleeing U.S. Army Gets Second Chance

November 23rd, 2009

Uncle Sam's a jerk

Bethany Smith, a lesbian seeking refugee status in Canada from the U.S., will get a second chance to have her case heard by the Immigration and Refugee Board after the Federal Court ruled that her previous plea was wrongfully dismissed.

Bethany, a 21 year old U.S. soldier, fled the U.S. in September 2007 over the institutionalized homophobia in the country’s army. Bethany says that other soldiers discovered she was a lesbian after seeing her hold hands with another woman at a shopping mall. Gays and lesbians are forbidden to serve openly in the U.S. army, so this information was used to harass, blackmail, and threaten her with violence—with no available recourse in the army’s administration.

The Immigration and Refugee Board originally rejected Bethany’s case in February, but will now give her a second chance with a different adjudicator. The Federal Court says the IRB should have taken into account “the particular environment” at Bethany’s Kentucky army base, including information that a gay man was murdered there in 1999 by fellow soldiers as he slept.

Considering Canada’s abysmal record on these sorts of cases, I don’t know how much of a chance Bethany has of getting full refugee status. Still, I wish her the best, as well as the speedy turfing of the U.S’s terrible Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy and other forms of institutionalized homophobia!

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