Cardston Crazies Propose Ban

Well, it’s not every day that I get to slap an entire town upside the head. But, lo! The Town of Cardston, Alberta (population: 3,500), made famous for it’s carriage museum featured on The Simpsons two weeks ago, has sent a formal letter requesting support for a ban on same-sex marriage. And to whom was this letter addressed? Why, the powerful Municipality of Crowsnest Pass (population: 6000), of course!

Unfortunately for Cardston, representatives for Crowsnest Pass were quick to pooh-pooh the notion, noting that not only do they unanimously oppose a ban on gay nuptials, but also that a ban would be illegal, as marriage is entirely federal jurisdiction. Yeah, all the way to the prime minister! Nonetheless, Cardston remains undeterred.

In schools are [sic] children are being taught that same gender marriages are a ‘normal’ lifestyle. Our Council feels that the silent majority needs to stand and be counted in regards to this manner.

Ah, you Cardston crazies. Crowsnest Pass shot you down, but with the Mayor of Cardston’s weight behind you, there’s nothing you can’t accomplish! Well, except maybe this… and, uh, pretty much anything else of significance.

• Gay Marriage Proposal Nixed [Crowsnest Pass Promoter]