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Kablamo! "Pro-Family" Groups Explode Over Ruling

January 5, 2007

Traditional Family Explodes

So, sometime after lunch on Wednesday, I was disrupted by a peculiar noise not unlike watermelons being dropped off an overpass. At first I was a little concerned, but after reading some of the online “pro-family” news sources, I discovered it was just all of Canada’s traditional families exploding.

As it turns out, an Ontario judge ruled that a child’s biological father was permitted to be a legal guardian alongside his adoptive lesbian mothers. In short: this kid has two mommies and one daddy.

Of course, that nutty anti-gay lobby was quick to go into assault mode, quickly crafting a connection between Wednesday’s ruling and same-sex marriage. Dave Quist, head of the Institute of Marriage and Family Canada, said the government needs to “hit the pause button” on same-sex marriage and launch a royal commission to study the state of the family in Canada. Former MP, Pat O’brien, was a tad more dramatic, asking: “Words like mother, father, marriage—could they become meaningless?”

Such concern. Could “mother,” “father,” and “marriage” become meaningless words? Like “zooberblab,” “gafungwa,” and… “pro-family?”

I’ll alert the dictionary people. Just to be safe.

But, in the meantime… Why such a reaction? Could the anti-gay lobby’s objections that same-sex marriage denies children of their biological parents really just have been a red herring to cover the fact they’re really just not too fond of gays? (Shock horror!)

And couldn’t this three-parent situation have just as easily happened to an opposite-sex parent family that relied on an in-vitro donor? Why is same-sex marriage even entering the picture? You know, ‘cause perhaps—just perhaps—families are classified into more than just traditional and ungodly homosexual fakers.

Well, have a great weekend, kids!

  • 3-parent family stirs debate [London Free Press]
  • Ontario court says boy can have dad, mom—and mom [CBC News]
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